13 Jul 2010 I did an interview for a magazine yesterday on Bullying. The reporter was concerned about bullying in younger children at Primary School, what should you do if someone’s best friend is suddenly not talking. It seems to be mostly a girl issue – She won’t talk to me , all my friends say I’m silly, They don’t like my hair... Suddenly some girls learn that they can have power, and often they choose to practise it.
It doesn’t seem to be much to do with intelligence – bright girls and the less able might both turn into bullies and into victims. Nor does it necessarily have anything to do with popularity, although there is a knock-on effect when others are invited to join in the bullying and join-in rather than find themselves on the wrong side. It also doesn’t seem to start with anything in particular – one day, everyone is friends, the next is a disaster. Boys do things a bit differently. They do exclude from games, but usually for lack of ability and they tend to be physical so that I’ve heard of children chased across roads in their stocking feet.
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It doesn’t seem to be much to do with intelligence – bright girls and the less able might both turn into bullies and into victims. Nor does it necessarily have anything to do with popularity, although there is a knock-on effect when others are invited to join in the bullying and join-in rather than find themselves on the wrong side. It also doesn’t seem to start with anything in particular – one day, everyone is friends, the next is a disaster. Boys do things a bit differently. They do exclude from games, but usually for lack of ability and they tend to be physical so that I’ve heard of children chased across roads in their stocking feet.
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9 Jul 2010 It’s almost the end of term. This means different things to different people.
There will be children at the end of their academic careers who have mixed feelings about leaving school and their friends, and embarking on the major new adventure of ‘the rest of their life’. There will be friends they retain for ever, and most whom they will happily lose. Memories will blur, good times will become better and bad times may also become better, but most will retain something and a sense of wonder about the child who entered the school and the big person, quasi-adult who is leaving. Most will remember at least one teacher who taught them something amazing, or whom they hated. I remember telling Mrs Hobday that she had marked one of my sums wrong, and she virtually called me a liar – I was 11, and have never forgiven her. Or forgotten Miss Ullyat whose birthday was on February 29th and who taught us that Roman Roads were seven men wide. [more]
There will be children at the end of their academic careers who have mixed feelings about leaving school and their friends, and embarking on the major new adventure of ‘the rest of their life’. There will be friends they retain for ever, and most whom they will happily lose. Memories will blur, good times will become better and bad times may also become better, but most will retain something and a sense of wonder about the child who entered the school and the big person, quasi-adult who is leaving. Most will remember at least one teacher who taught them something amazing, or whom they hated. I remember telling Mrs Hobday that she had marked one of my sums wrong, and she virtually called me a liar – I was 11, and have never forgiven her. Or forgotten Miss Ullyat whose birthday was on February 29th and who taught us that Roman Roads were seven men wide. [more]
6 Jul 2010 Greg is a sweet little boy except when he is horrible. His Mum has been asking everyone for help for ages. She knows he’s got problems and he’s not like other children, but no-one seems to believe her. He’s now in his second year at school and still can’t do much; she’s been told he might have Asperger Syndrome, or he might be Hyperactive. He’s so difficult that the classroom assistant spends a lot of the day with him, but no-one will tell Mum definitely what his problem is.
Actually he has a number of difficulties. School said proudly that he knows his letters and has some phonic skills. And he can count. But he does not have one-to-one correspondence – so far, although he can say his numbers, he can only actually count four things. He doesn’t play well with the others in his class but is much happier playing with the little ones. He finds it hard to sit still for story, and finds it hard to give up one activity and move on to the next. He flaps his arms when he is excited. He doesn’t speak very clearly, and doesn’t speak in sentences.
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Actually he has a number of difficulties. School said proudly that he knows his letters and has some phonic skills. And he can count. But he does not have one-to-one correspondence – so far, although he can say his numbers, he can only actually count four things. He doesn’t play well with the others in his class but is much happier playing with the little ones. He finds it hard to sit still for story, and finds it hard to give up one activity and move on to the next. He flaps his arms when he is excited. He doesn’t speak very clearly, and doesn’t speak in sentences.
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29 Jun 2010 I went to Menorca for the weekend, which was very lucky as I missed horrible rain at home and found rather clement weather there. The day before my trip – to see friends – I did a long interview with a Scottish newspaper about children and play, and protection.
During the course of the interview, we talked about the value of play. Recent events mean that we are all increasingly aware of the risks our children face and, so, increasingly inclined to keep them indoors and safe. I have a number of concerns about this – not least the loss to the children of all sorts of seriously important bits of childhood.
Seriously Important includes play, the opportunity to socialise, the chance to be bored, the time to learn and, goodness knows how many more.
In Menorca, this all came back to me in a big way. Saturday was the feast of St John, a big celebration. It marks the end of the school year and in the big town there is an enormous festival where people ride ginormous horses through crowds of usually young people [more]
During the course of the interview, we talked about the value of play. Recent events mean that we are all increasingly aware of the risks our children face and, so, increasingly inclined to keep them indoors and safe. I have a number of concerns about this – not least the loss to the children of all sorts of seriously important bits of childhood.
Seriously Important includes play, the opportunity to socialise, the chance to be bored, the time to learn and, goodness knows how many more.
In Menorca, this all came back to me in a big way. Saturday was the feast of St John, a big celebration. It marks the end of the school year and in the big town there is an enormous festival where people ride ginormous horses through crowds of usually young people [more]
22 Jun 2010 Lee came back with his grandfather. He is the boy who has been adopted by his grandparents after being mistreated by his mum. I have met with his grandparents alone who gave me a lot of information about stuff he had been through, and about the grief they had felt. It seemed that he was bearing a heavy burden of concern about all that he had been through, although, since it all happened when he was pre-verbal, he possibly had no overt memories and just ‘felt’ angry. So I made a plan which was to try Eye Movement Desensitisation to ease some of the memories and give him a deep-down feeling that although bad things had happened, they were resolved and he could get on with life. But when Lee came back, it transpired that although his parents had tried to talk with him about the past and about why he is now living with them, Lee had never been willing.
So, a rethink. And we talked about how babies need to be cared for and cherished. [more]
So, a rethink. And we talked about how babies need to be cared for and cherished. [more]