11 Mar 2010 It’s all boys, boys , boys – or so it seems. It isn’t of course, but there do seem to be rather more boys than girls just now. But there was one rather glorious experience this week.
The psychiatrist had referred a boy who was very frightened of being sick. I have met other people with this phobia: proper name Emetaphobia. One of the oddest things is that some people seem to attract vomiting people. So one nineteen year old had had people throwing up in the bar near to her, and on a plane, but then was on a morning train to the local shopping mall when someone was sick next to her. That is not reasonable!! I worked with her and she said things were significantly improved. And I worked with a small girl who had been sick in the dining room twice in a row and was then afraid to go in, and then afraid to eat lunch, and then breakfast and finally to eat at all, just in case. We sorted that out, but I was less successful with the boy last term who carried a carrier bag with him at all times just in case. [more]
The psychiatrist had referred a boy who was very frightened of being sick. I have met other people with this phobia: proper name Emetaphobia. One of the oddest things is that some people seem to attract vomiting people. So one nineteen year old had had people throwing up in the bar near to her, and on a plane, but then was on a morning train to the local shopping mall when someone was sick next to her. That is not reasonable!! I worked with her and she said things were significantly improved. And I worked with a small girl who had been sick in the dining room twice in a row and was then afraid to go in, and then afraid to eat lunch, and then breakfast and finally to eat at all, just in case. We sorted that out, but I was less successful with the boy last term who carried a carrier bag with him at all times just in case. [more]
9 Mar 2010 I think I’ve just ranted at a journalist....She phoned me last week when I was really busy and asked if she could phone again. She phoned today when I was getting lost in Leeds and then again this evening. By arrangement.
Holly is writing an e-book for net-mums and it is aimed at those mothers of children under 10. She has written most of it and asked me whether I feel children are being asked to grow up too quickly and aren’t able to be children long enough. So I told her.
I feel very strongly that childhood should be wonderful, and good fun and happy - and this requires others to take responsibility for the children. Too soon, people have to make decisions for themselves about life, friendship, jobs, spending etc. My concern is that presently children are aping many of the big girl/big boy things they see without understanding what others might read in to what they say and do. Five year olds in crop tops or ‘sexy slogan’ t shirts just want to look like big girls, those who swear want to sound ‘grown-up’ but adults outside the family will see miniature, sexy, rude people. [more]
Holly is writing an e-book for net-mums and it is aimed at those mothers of children under 10. She has written most of it and asked me whether I feel children are being asked to grow up too quickly and aren’t able to be children long enough. So I told her.
I feel very strongly that childhood should be wonderful, and good fun and happy - and this requires others to take responsibility for the children. Too soon, people have to make decisions for themselves about life, friendship, jobs, spending etc. My concern is that presently children are aping many of the big girl/big boy things they see without understanding what others might read in to what they say and do. Five year olds in crop tops or ‘sexy slogan’ t shirts just want to look like big girls, those who swear want to sound ‘grown-up’ but adults outside the family will see miniature, sexy, rude people. [more]
5 Mar 2010 Yesterday a lovely family came in to show me how well their son was doing. It was his birthday, he was 11. Mum and Dad don’t live together any more but get on very well and boy is clear that he is much loved. He had been quite depressed at school and threatening to harm himself. By encouraging the parents to take control of his life, to make rules that would be consistent, by taking away the pressure he felt, I hoped that things would get better for him. And they did - he is one of two boys who don’t like football, but so what. Now he has made a robot bug [with the help of an adult who did the soldering] and the whole school is impressed. He also did the wonderful coca cola and mentos experiment, which makes a glorious fountain and is now interested in Pivot films.
I had never heard of pivot films. These feature almost stick figures but with bodies more like liquorice torpedoes, and the film maker moves the shape or redraws it to tell a story. Boy said could he show us the Best Pivot Film in the World on You Tube. Of course. So he took over the computer and found it. And suddenly there were quite a lot of not-terribly-nice words. [more]
I had never heard of pivot films. These feature almost stick figures but with bodies more like liquorice torpedoes, and the film maker moves the shape or redraws it to tell a story. Boy said could he show us the Best Pivot Film in the World on You Tube. Of course. So he took over the computer and found it. And suddenly there were quite a lot of not-terribly-nice words. [more]
2 Mar 2010 A new boy – today. There seems to be a run of boys at the moment. Or maybe it’s because Mothers usually do the fretting and chasing to the doctors, and because Mothers worry perhaps more about their sons, that boys come our way. [ I have a theory that parents are more confused by the child of the opposite sex e.g. I was a girl once and therefore understand girls better, and have a bit less sympathy for girly problems, and vice versa.]
Anyway, Tom is lovely. He’s got charm and a super smile, is reasonably bright – and worries about everything! He is sensitive with a large capital S and spends far too much of his life caring about the feelings of others. His Mum is delightful and, not unreasonably, wants him to toughen up and occasionally put himself first.
A For Instance: Sammy is a girl in his class who has decided that he is her friend. She decides where he should sit, who he should play with and when. Tom doesn’t want to upset her and so goes along with this even though he enjoys refereeing for the football and is missing his friends who are boys. [more]
Anyway, Tom is lovely. He’s got charm and a super smile, is reasonably bright – and worries about everything! He is sensitive with a large capital S and spends far too much of his life caring about the feelings of others. His Mum is delightful and, not unreasonably, wants him to toughen up and occasionally put himself first.
A For Instance: Sammy is a girl in his class who has decided that he is her friend. She decides where he should sit, who he should play with and when. Tom doesn’t want to upset her and so goes along with this even though he enjoys refereeing for the football and is missing his friends who are boys. [more]
25 Feb 2010 Martin is also highly articulate and thinking – but perhaps more articulate than thinking. He is small for his age but looks all-of-a-piece: just generally young for his age. This is often a problem for teenage boys. They grow at such different rates, some spurt while some have steady growth; some grow at eleven, others not till fifteen. Martin is small, but his father didn’t grow till he was 18 and at 14, he seems to be fine with it.
Martin has a big problem with eating. It all started when he was a baby and vomited a lot. He then had a very bad bout of gastro-enteritis which confirmed for both the toddler Martin and his Mum that he couldn’t eat a wide range of foods. She thought, not unreasonably, that it was better for him to eat something than nothing and increasingly allowed to him to restrict his diet. Unfortunately, this coincided with his age. The dietician was telling us last week that babies will try everything but from the age of one, for about eighteen months, become incredibly picky. [more]
Martin has a big problem with eating. It all started when he was a baby and vomited a lot. He then had a very bad bout of gastro-enteritis which confirmed for both the toddler Martin and his Mum that he couldn’t eat a wide range of foods. She thought, not unreasonably, that it was better for him to eat something than nothing and increasingly allowed to him to restrict his diet. Unfortunately, this coincided with his age. The dietician was telling us last week that babies will try everything but from the age of one, for about eighteen months, become incredibly picky. [more]